Family Challenges

Look out for the sword

If your kids ever start showing signs of budding sainthood, be prepared for the fact that you probably won't be too thrilled. At least if they're doing it right, you won't.

A mini-example: This summer, on our first day of vacation in Rocky Mountain National Park, my 10-year-old son learned from a "hikemaster" at our YMCA camp why it was not such a hot idea to feed the animals he encountered in the mountains. (Once they get used to human handouts, they forget how to fend for themselves; then, during the winter months, when the humans are all back in the flatlands drinking caffé lattes in nice, warm coffee shops, the animals starve.) Later in the week, we stopped at a popular overlook to take in the view. The first thing James spotted was a couple with a box of Kix cereal, tossing it to the squirrels and other small critters patrolling the rocks of the parking lot. "Say something, Mom," he urged, but as I took my time with this quite startling idea, he decided to take the bull by the horns. "You know, you really shouldn't feed them that. They'll get used to it, and then in the winter, they'll starve to death!" he called out the car window. The couple either didn't hear or pretended not to and continued dispensing their Kix. As we drove away a few minutes later, James fired out the window, "I guess you didn't care about that, huh?"

This minor scene doesn't even compare to the tales told by Robert Ellsberg, author of the wonderful book All Saints, who is interviewed in the November U.S. CATHOLIC magazine. Saint Francis of Assisi, for example, embezzled money from his father's business to give to the poor. When his father, who had lavished every kind of luxury on this kid over the years, dragged him before the bishop for a reckoning, Francis admitted his wrongs, took off all his fine clothes, handed them to his father and said, "From now on I have only one father in heaven." Ouch.

Saint Thomas Aquinas' parents kidnapped him and locked him up in their castle after Thomas announced he wanted to become a Dominican, which back then meant becoming an impoverished, itinerant preacher -- worse than a nobody. They relented only when they realized not even imprisonment would change his mind. Saint Clare of Assisi secretly made off in the night to join Saint Francis in living out the gospel among the poor. When her family tracked her down and tried to drag her back home, she tore off her veil and revealed that her long, beautiful hair had been cut off -- a sign that they were too late. Saint after saint foiled their parents' plans for them to marry a rich, handsome fella, or to become lawyers, merchants, social climbers. "Many of the parents must have just felt sick that their kids were acting in this rebellious way, that . . . they're the scandal of the town," says Ellsberg.

Jesus' mother was told that a sword would pierce her heart, and Jesus announced that he had come not to bring peace but a sword. "Too often we miss the mark by seeking comfort," writes Father John Young, pastor of St. Basil Church in South Haven, Michigan. "We are challenged to bear witness to the world. If our faith style casts no fire and causes no division, then perhaps we have become models of inoffensive Christianity."

So if everybody's shaking their heads about your kid, it might mean you're doing something right after all. (by Catherine O'Connell-Cahill)

 

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