Family Challenges

Simply, it's wrong (Domestic Violence)

A few years ago I heard a proposal to reduce violent crime that intrigued and shocked me. A group of women proposed a curfew on all men each evening at sunset. The point was to reduce incidents of violent crime by removing the most likely perpetrators of such crime: men. This proposal, as impractical as it may have been, drove home the point that, as a group, men commit the vast majority of violent crime. And I can see how women might fantasize about how wonderful it would be to take the subway, to walk the streets, to arrive home late without worrying that a man was lurking around a corner, ready to do them harm.

While this curfew proposal might make the streets safer, it wouldn't make the homes safer. It's sad to say that for many women and children, the least safe place they can go is their own home.

Let's face it, many men use violence as a way of relating -- particularly to those close to them. It's not all men. It's not most men. But far too many men feel that verbal or even physical force are acceptable ways of relating to those they love. They hit, slap, or shove. They berate, belittle, or undermine the self-esteem of their loved ones. Out of fear (not strength!) they use their strength or size or desperation in attempts to control those around them. This isn't relating; it's taking hostages.

Men, if this description fits you, there's something you need to understand This behavior is wrong and to let it continue in your life is sinful. The fact is, you don't have to perpetuate this way of relating. But you probably need help to change. Take the first step by calling your diocesan Catholic Charities or Family Life office.

 

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