Practical Parenting Ideas

A kiss in time…

Context, Martin E. Marty’s newsletter on religion and culture, reported on a study that asked what habits improved the intimacy of married couples.

"Among all the variables in the habits of the couples studied, one ritual of intimacy stood out," writes Rev. Paul Bosch.

"Did the couple embrace and kiss at the door in the morning before going their separate ways to work, or did they not?" The couples who kissed reported having happier, longer-lasting, and more fulfilling marriages than those couples that did not.

Not surprising, perhaps, As Bosch added, "Whatever you do repeatedly, over and over again, has the power to shape you."

But the real surprise was that it didn’t seem to matter whether or not the couples meant it!

"Just a perfunctory peck on the cheek seemed to be enough–enough to make a difference in the quality of the relationship."

That’s something to mull on when your kids say they don’t want to go to church because they get nothing out of it. Or when they don’t want to hold hands when you pray grace before meals. Or kiss Aunt Martha, or shake hands with their third cousin, Jedediah. The action itself shapes us and improves the quality of our relationship.

And it’s something for parents to think about when they send their kids off to school. Do you give a hug? A smooch? A touch, a pat, a tousle of the hair? A blessing? Even if you don’t feel it, go ahead. The gesture itself has power in it. Make the effort, and the rituals of your life will shape you, change you, elevate you. And they will shape your children.

Back to Parenting Ideas Index