Raise kids, one story at a time

We all live by stories. They are the myths that help us make sense of our world and our place in it. One person's story may say, "I'm in this all by myself, and I can rely on no one," while another's story says, "If we all band together, we'll be OK." I know people whose story perennially warns them, "Don't get your hopes up," while others live out the story, "God has good things in store for us."

Our kids are constantly being told stories by people who want something from them. These people don't really care if the stories they tell our kids are lies or are even dangerous. Says Kathleen O'Connell Chesto, "We tell our kids stories so they'll grow in wisdom and courage and will know who they are. Television tells them stories to sell them." Think of the stories they see in commercials, MTV videos, blockbuster movies, and video games. Are these the main lessons you want them to absorb?

Your kids will build a moral framework based on the stories they hear. Here are some steps you can take to help them build wisely:

1. CUT DOWN ON THE MENTAL JUNK FOOD and give them something morally nutritious. Fill your house with good books, videos, and movies. Limit the number of empty stories they experience, like those that push "things" above people, comfort and ease above virtue and courage. Invest some time in discovering and sharing stories that encourage moral behavior and strong virtue.

2. BALANCE STORIES THAT GLORIFY SIMPLISTIC ANSWERS TO PROBLEMS, like violence, with more realistic, though complex, struggles, like friend making, negotiation, or compromise.

3. STRESS CREATIVITY RATHER THAN THE RELENTLESS REPETITION OF PRE-FORMED IMAGES AND IDEAS. Notice how one-dimensional characters are repeatedly force-fed on kids by Disney/McDonald's/TV networks, etc. If you limit your children's imaginations, you cripple their ability to grow spiritually in the future. Encourage your children to create their own stories, plays, and characters, or buy them uplifting books on tape so they can employ their own imaginations as they listen.

4. PURCHASE AN AGE-APPROPRIATE "LIVES OF THE SAINTS" FOR YOUR CHILD'S BOOKSHELF AND READ THESE STORIES TOGETHER. Many saints lived heroic and countercultural lives. They are stories to build a life on.