Feasts, Seasons, Sacraments

True gifts

Polly Berrien Berends offers the following wisdom in her landmark book for parents, Whole Parent/Whole Child (Harper & Row):

"When it comes to love, there is often a better mode of expression than through things. Sure, children need to know that they are loved. Sure, a gift of a toy can express love.

"But a smile when you see her, a minute of helping her do something she’s trying to do, a minute of letting her do badly by herself something you could do better in ten seconds, the loving refusal to meet an illegitimate demand, a moment of abandoning everything just to listen to what she has to say–no toy can equal the power of these gifts to show her the joy of being loved, lovable and loving.

"I was inspired by a mother I saw. Her son came running up to her, fretting and frowning, all frustrated over something. Undisturbed by his disturbance she smiled the loveliest smile at him. I saw his face change, relax. Before anything had been said, his problem had shrunk. Now they could talk about it–if he could remember what it was."

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